Friday ThunderBirds: Tribute to the unsung Heroes of the Night

Tries to Photobomb...ends up creepin

I would like to start this weeks issue of Friday: Thunderbirds with a poem by Walterrean Salley....for this week.. we shall tribute the unsung heroes of the night... 

Legends come,
And legends go.
Many that we
Do not know.
They’re not heralded
By a 'band.'
Nor flaunted by
Some magic wand.
Their names
We may never know,
But unsung heroes
Do they go.

These individuals live to the beat of their own drum. They do not follow the heard, instead they create new paths for others to walk upon. Unsung heroes of the night go out of their way to ensure that they are in every one of your pictures. This is not about vanity people.. this is about making your future facebook and blackberry profile pictures the best that they can be....and for this..we salute you.

 

 "O, hey there! Excuse me whilst steal your limelight"

 

"She said she loved me..I just left to go to the bar to get her a drink.... and now I come back to find her arms around another man....It must be his Beads...women love beads"

If only our man had read Bandits post about "M.I.B>>>Men in Beads..what women really want"

                                             This chick could lick you from a mile away!

                                         
                                              "Look bro...its not Gay if its in a three-way"

Something tells me that this was a girls night out and our good man over there will definitely be tagged on facebook as "OMG, who was that guy"....Who is he..do you really want to know.. he is... a unsung hero of the night!

                                 You Know this song started playing as soon as they took this pic!!!

OH OH OH OH OH...
You got a 100 dollar bill put yo' hands up
You got a 50 dollar bill put yo' hands up
You got a 20 dollar bill put yo' hands up
You got a 10 dollar bill put yo' hands up
Single ladies
I can't hear ya'll
Single ladies
Make noise!
Single ladies
I can't hear ya'll
Single ladies
Make noise! 

                                 "Ooooh Yeah....That roofy should be kicking in any minute now"

                     
                   "Come out to the club they said, they wont play that fucking YOLO song they said"

                                         
                                         Ladies.............Welcome to The Gun Show...BOOOOM

 "What the hell am I doing here? I cant believe I'm missing Vamp Diaries for this place...and who the hell is trying to touch my breasts??"

 I know this post is supposed to be about the peeps in the background, but I must give credit whenever its due! Those are banging beads soldier!

As for the chicks, those two are definitely judging her boyfriends ex!

 "I don't always come out to clubs to perv at women, but when I do I make sure I'm wearing my creeping glasses"

                          "MMMMMMMMMM YUMMMMMMY......GET IN MY BELLY!!!!!!!!"


@CapeBandit

Field Report # 3: Twins ??

TEAM PRESENT

* The Natural
* The Vixen
* The Blogger
* Crazy Person
* The Drunkard

LOCATION

* Toiga

THE SCENE

The digits 9:45pm flickered on the car radio...the full body of human knowledge could not explain why it takes women so long to get dressed. Thoughts of mutiny crossed our minds as we silently judged the Natural for bringing the Vixen along. A few seconds before friendships came to an end the Vixen emerged and we were off to tame the wild beast that is Toiga! GRRR! 

The constant smell of chunder in the carpets immortalized all those brave souls who had come before us. Sounds of <insert most generic song you know here> resonated through the empty heads of paralytic jocks and smug barbies strutted over all advances made by every passing male.  

We will make it in time for Free entry and 2for1 drinks specials

THE GROUPS

* The group of birthday girls who had literally spent the whole night looking for each other

* The twins (I really need to read up in Richard Dawkins selfish gene theory cause it still perplexes me how one twin can more ummmm 'genetically gifted' than the other) 

* The strange chick who suffered from  Chirophobia-Fear of touching someones hands (I could not even make this stuff up)

* Dr Bones and crew 

* Random dude who kept following me asking if I wanted to work for his promo company

THE NOTABLE APPROACHES

On this particular night I wanted to experiment, last summer I was the epitome of textbook game. I could gun out line after line and it had worked on many cases. However just last week I was at a popular pretentious venue in the atlantic seaboard. I whipped out the good old "Hi there, I need a women’s perspective on something. Do you think these beads are too much?" line.........aaaaaaaand it didn't seem to work.Well I had received a response but I could see that the line had gone right over her head. Looking back, there could only be two valid explanations for this anomaly 1) I was not in the moment and my approach seemed contrived 2) Every girl in Cape Town had read my Men in Beads post and were now becoming wise to my tricks....The answer was obviously option 2, so I had to switch the game up and try what seemed to be a very complex task...and that was to "JUST BE MYSELF". 

So that was it, I was just going to be myself...no lines..no routines...just usual boring banter...

As I walked up to the Group of Birthday Girls I was not going to use the tried and tested Birthday Girl Routine. I would walk up and think of the most generic boring thing I could think of...Mmmm...Exams...yeah...I'll talk about exams so I went up to their table and said "Hey, please tell me that someones writing exams next week"...The MotherHen responded and asked why to which I said that I wanted to know so that I wouldn't feel guilty about being out whilst everyone else is studying (yes i said whilst in a conversation, off course I speak exactly how I write).....aaand guess what happened next. They all burst out laughing and accepted me into their lil birthday bash. Thereafter they had spent the rest of the night looking for each other and asking me every 5min if I had seen where the other friend had disappeared to.

So I backwards engineered that approach and the reason why it had been successful was simply because I had the balls and confidence to go up to them and initiate a conversation without any expectations. I then wondered why so many other guys were not doing the same thing, until I turned around and noticed them getting piss drunk so that they could later harass any silhouette which resembled a female on the dancefloor. Then these dudes will only end up coming back saying that these chicks are such bitches. Truth be told the only chicks who usually hook up with random drunks on the dancefloor are usually floozies (In CT, these floozies backgrounds usually include private all girls school education, bad breakups, failed UCT degrees or yip..daddy issues).

Not really a true depiction of what I experienced, but close..well...not really

The Twins...the twins....mmmm...THE TWINS....well sorry to disappoint you guys but its not that kind of story. The approach was again quite standard. I saw them chilling and I walked up and said sarcastically "Looks like you ladies are having an AMAZING time".. they did the usual giggle giggle chuckle chuckle...Kings of Leons Sex is on Fire was playing so I asked if they were going to the concert. To which the one said that she had an exam on the day. Turns out she studies Archeology. I wipped out the Lara Croft Indiana Jones Banter and they were loving it.

It actually came as a shock to me that they were twins because the one was stunning and the other...ummm..not so much ( If by some chance you're actually reading this Ms Archeology chick,this is all meant to be taken with a pinch of salt, but genuine,don't party with your sister,kidding...or not) .This only became apparent after I had done the Best Friends test. How this works is that you ask a random question like "O,what shampoo do you guys use"..aaaand 100% of the time they will look at each other for validation before they respond. The Stunner was keen to give me her BB pin...Ha! that reminds me.. I still have to send her a message! Wonder when the best time would be..mmm...Probably just before Carte Blanche on Mnet starts, because its a well known fact that everyone sits down to watch it and nobody really pays attention to the first 20min about stupid save the animals crap.

I'm off to implement some BBM Game

@CapeBandit


Send a request to capebandits@gmail.com to get invited to join Cape Towns premier pua community website.

M.I.B >>> Men In Beads...What women really want !

I'm in some sort of prison cell.....I can’t recall how I got here, I hear waves crashing and the strong taste of chloroform still fills my mouth. The scratches and bruises are evidence of days of torture, I'm writing this message because I am in possession of a secret. This secret has been in hiding since the beginning of time, and those with its knowledge have been able to unlock the deepest desires of women the world over....I  am tired of hiding it, and I believe that the world is now ready... for the secret of

………………THE BEADS ! ! ! 

This item of clothing has said to be forged by the Gods and cast out of the heavens due to its immense power. You might see it every day; some even wear it and are oblivious to its influence on women. There comes a time in everyman’s life when he finds himself in the presence of an Angel Goddess….You’re eyes meet… time seems to stand still….the stars seem to be aligned and all would be perfect if only the right words would come to mind…your mind begins to wonder and millions of cheesy pick up lines go through your head…you’re hand starts to shake and just then…you’ve realized that time has not stopped, and you’ve been staring at her for the past 5 minutes without saying a word…whatever swagger you came in with, has been swept away…and the only thing you’ll be getting from the Angel Goddess is a restraining order.

Now gentlemen, the only way to attract an Angel Goddess is to present her with the very item which not even the mighty Zeus could handle. However your efforts will prove fruitless if you do not know how to harness its power. I will now share with you the secrets to unlocking the secret of….The Beads.

Step 1: The J-Sparrow

The J-Sparrow was made famous by the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow. The Jack is a style of dressing which harnesses the full power of The Beads. Without incubating The Beads within an aura of pirate coolness you’ll have nothing but a decorative object hanging from your neck. The pirate dress code has evolved over the years, and in 2011 it can be characterized by a V-neck tshirt, skinny jeans and a pair of ankle high boots.

Step 2: The Open

The secret to approaching an Angel Goddess in a club is the 3 second rule.  Once you spot her, you will have only 3 seconds to speak to her to make any kind of worthy impression. This also prevents the wearer from any kind of approach anxiety. Not to mention that The Beads power of attraction diminishes if you do not harness its influence within the designated time frame. 

Forget cheesy pickup lines…What I’m about to tell you should be the ONLY words which should come out of your mouth!

They are 17 words, 17 words which could change your life forever….All you have to say is…….

“Hi there, I need a women’s perspective on something. Do you think these beads are too much?”

Now, if you are reading this. I am sure you are of sound mind and mental capacity. So I am sure that you should be aware that ladies enjoy sharing their opinions, especially if it has anything to do with fashion. You are now providing the Angel Goddess with the platform for her to delve into her inner most desires to judge someone on the basis of their exterior appearance. 

There are many answers to this question, the top answers given by women can be found below:

• “Wow, they kind of look like Anal Beads.” (well, I’m sure you can figure out where this conversation can lead to)
• “Yeah, I really like your style. Somehow reminds me of that guy from Pirates of the Caribbean.”
• “I can’t really see it in this club light, I have this awesome bed lamp which could allow me to see it better”

The Beads allows for an easy transition into some meaningful conversation with the Angel Goddess. It is a fun and easy way to beat the jitters and approach and meet new people in a fun and unique way. 99.99% of the women you approach will laugh, and Marilyn Monroe said it best by saying that if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

…..I can hear the guards outside of my cell, and I have attached my blackberry to a pigeon’s leg. I have given the bird strict instructions to fly this info straight to the CapeBandits headquarters.

The information I have shared with you is highly classified and I am sure it will prove vital in the preservation of the human race. With The Beads, you will no longer be a mortal man. Women love Men In Beads so you can now stand on the shoulders of giants and call yourself a Man In Beads or M.I.B!

@CapeBandit