TEAM PRESENT
* The Natural
* The Naturals GF
* The Blond Wingwoman
* The Blogger
* The Biker
* Crazy person
LOCATION
* "Cigar and Champagne Lounge"....Green Point
PRE-MATCH VENUE
* The Crazy persons friends place
THE SCENE
The vibe was quite mellow at first however the usual bottle of Chivas Regal greeted us on arrival. The quality of chicks at the venue was below what Ive become accustomed to and the number of newly divorced cougars seemed to have increased since my last visit. After extensive research, it can be said that if any success with a random chick was to be achieved, one would need to venture to the smoking area of the club.It is recommended that you keep a box of ciggs with you, if you don't smoke, carrying a lighter at all times is advisable.
THE GROUPS
* The Birthday Girls
* The Two Cougers
* The Other Dudes Chick
*The Attention Whores
* Some Emo whinny chick
THE APPROACHES
These were the main groups I approached at the venue. The birthday girls can always be seen from a mile away. They are good fun and you're guaranteed free shots once you've gained the trust of the Motherhen. The easiest way to get involved with the Birthday crowed, is to jump right in there with high energy and a smile. Hold up your hand and give them all high 5's, except the Birthday Girl. This sounds super cheesy however it always works! She would naturally rant and demand a high 5. Lean over and say Happy 18th Birthday! Now this was a winner because she was obliviously over 25 years old. Once in the group you can ask some the generic Birthday Girls Group Questions which are;
* Where are the male strippers?
* Why is the Birthday Girl so sober?
* You guys just came here for the free cake and drinks hey?
The Two Cougars were not as interesting as Id imaged. They were seated on the opposite side of the venue, after I had approached I had realised why it was that they were seated.They were old, tired and probably coming to the realisation that plenty more palates sessions would need to be made.
Now most guys would see a chick surrounded by guys and immediately assume that they were off limits. I'm here to inform you that these are often the coolest chicks you could meet on a night out. Although the Approach would need to be very indirect. So I sparked up a conversation with one of the guys, generic conversations starters are usually;
* What time does this place start buzzing?
* Where's the after party at?
* Whats the occasion tonight?
While they start rattling off, I would then meander my way to the chick and a cocky funny comment would usually follow. Then the usual banter would ensue and I'd leave just as she starts telling me about herself. Once she questioned as to where I was going, I knew I was IN! I then moved onto the next group which were The Attention Whores, these are often the absolutely stunning chicks who clearly know that they could seduce any guy in the place. So I just walked right on by and as soon as I made eye contact with one of them I threw up a lovely "L" for loser sign in her direction. She gave a "WTF, and who the hell is that guy" look as I made my way to the bar. Now this is a very effective way of making an impression with these kinds of girls. They are often models and are used to guys swooning over them at all times. So once you can walk past them and basically tell them that they are such losers, you immediately stand out from any other dweeb who will try to buy their attention.
As I got my drink I ventured into the smoking area where I saw three ladies in a deep rather passionate conversation and argument. So I walked over and said "let me guess..you ladies are Guy Bashing ey?"...What seemed like a good idea at the time, however I got sucked into the conversation. Ok, now what I found weird was how open this chick was about telling me some intimate details of her relationship..Me, a guy she literally met seconds ago..She felt comfortable because I entered the conversation at the same level a old friend would. If I was a douche I'd disclose what she told me..well lets get right on into the details of Emo Chicks life then;
* She felt their relationship needed more spice, so she introduced some Porn into the mix
* Her boyfriend enjoyed this quite considerably...(Duh Sherlock)
Now most guys would see a chick surrounded by guys and immediately assume that they were off limits. I'm here to inform you that these are often the coolest chicks you could meet on a night out. Although the Approach would need to be very indirect. So I sparked up a conversation with one of the guys, generic conversations starters are usually;
* What time does this place start buzzing?
* Where's the after party at?
* Whats the occasion tonight?
While they start rattling off, I would then meander my way to the chick and a cocky funny comment would usually follow. Then the usual banter would ensue and I'd leave just as she starts telling me about herself. Once she questioned as to where I was going, I knew I was IN! I then moved onto the next group which were The Attention Whores, these are often the absolutely stunning chicks who clearly know that they could seduce any guy in the place. So I just walked right on by and as soon as I made eye contact with one of them I threw up a lovely "L" for loser sign in her direction. She gave a "WTF, and who the hell is that guy" look as I made my way to the bar. Now this is a very effective way of making an impression with these kinds of girls. They are often models and are used to guys swooning over them at all times. So once you can walk past them and basically tell them that they are such losers, you immediately stand out from any other dweeb who will try to buy their attention.
As I got my drink I ventured into the smoking area where I saw three ladies in a deep rather passionate conversation and argument. So I walked over and said "let me guess..you ladies are Guy Bashing ey?"...What seemed like a good idea at the time, however I got sucked into the conversation. Ok, now what I found weird was how open this chick was about telling me some intimate details of her relationship..Me, a guy she literally met seconds ago..She felt comfortable because I entered the conversation at the same level a old friend would. If I was a douche I'd disclose what she told me..well lets get right on into the details of Emo Chicks life then;
* She felt their relationship needed more spice, so she introduced some Porn into the mix
* Her boyfriend enjoyed this quite considerably...(Duh Sherlock)
* Now she catches him watching it a little too often for her liking
* He then proceeded to compare her to the Porn star babes (Big Mistake there lad)
* Then he said that the one Porn star babe really looks like one of her close friends who he had a crush on for years
* Now his out "partying" with her Porn star look-a-like friend and she's here talking to me..not knowing all her dirt will be exposed on this very website which is viewed by thousands of people :)
So be careful who you speak to ladies ;P
The Other dudes chick then grabbed me away from Emo Chick and maneuvered me towards the dance floor. This made it quite obvious that she was indeed single and was clearly 1) jealous at the attention I was getting from Emo girl 2) wondering why the Hot attention whores kept smirking and flipping me the bird every time I walked past or 3) upset that I left her mid conversation to grab a drink. I now see the error in my ways, no decent chick would hook up with a guy they've just met on the dance floor. Now you're probably going to disagree with me..but think back to a random you've macked on the dance floor...75% of them were floozies...So it then occurred to me that there was no isolated place within the venue to take this chick to.
Leaving the venue was not an option, because I had just purchased an ice cold beer..and no guy leaves whilst in the possession of a full beer. She seemed slightly perturbed by this notion and this new guy built like a house appeared infront of me..guess this girl was indeed taken..and very much so might I add. This situation was clearly misread, and this chick was on a kamikaze mission to make her current boyfriend jealous.
I tried to think of how I was going to get myself out of this mess without spilling my beer, and just then my trusty Blond Wingwoman stepped right in and gestured that I was just her out of control boyfriend...Benefits of having a trusty Wingwoman around fellows..She saved my ass from a beat down and I left feeling rather content that I lived to game another day.
Bandit
* He then proceeded to compare her to the Porn star babes (Big Mistake there lad)
* Then he said that the one Porn star babe really looks like one of her close friends who he had a crush on for years
* Now his out "partying" with her Porn star look-a-like friend and she's here talking to me..not knowing all her dirt will be exposed on this very website which is viewed by thousands of people :)
So be careful who you speak to ladies ;P
The Other dudes chick then grabbed me away from Emo Chick and maneuvered me towards the dance floor. This made it quite obvious that she was indeed single and was clearly 1) jealous at the attention I was getting from Emo girl 2) wondering why the Hot attention whores kept smirking and flipping me the bird every time I walked past or 3) upset that I left her mid conversation to grab a drink. I now see the error in my ways, no decent chick would hook up with a guy they've just met on the dance floor. Now you're probably going to disagree with me..but think back to a random you've macked on the dance floor...75% of them were floozies...So it then occurred to me that there was no isolated place within the venue to take this chick to.
Leaving the venue was not an option, because I had just purchased an ice cold beer..and no guy leaves whilst in the possession of a full beer. She seemed slightly perturbed by this notion and this new guy built like a house appeared infront of me..guess this girl was indeed taken..and very much so might I add. This situation was clearly misread, and this chick was on a kamikaze mission to make her current boyfriend jealous.
I tried to think of how I was going to get myself out of this mess without spilling my beer, and just then my trusty Blond Wingwoman stepped right in and gestured that I was just her out of control boyfriend...Benefits of having a trusty Wingwoman around fellows..She saved my ass from a beat down and I left feeling rather content that I lived to game another day.
Bandit
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