Late twenties
I don't like saying the words.
Conjures up thoughts of retired boy band members trying to hold onto fans who have now acquired a more astute glutan free way of wasting their time.
"When I was your age, your father and I already had a house, we were paying off a bond and sending your ass to school."
8 years of tertiary education, two degrees and 2 years of articles. Where is the millions? I was told their would be millions here.
Remember when it was impossible to get inside Springboks on a Thursday night?
Carrying and dragging friends out at 10 so that our last minute Guest Lists would not have been procured in vein. Searching for fimiliar faces in queues just so that we could score those high heel clad chicks before they fell off the speakers.
It was a Thursday evening and I happened to be drawing cash in Claremont. Next to me were a few giggling tweens taking selfies at the ATM, their high pitched voices and ethused demeanour angered me. Their short skirts barely covered their ass and goodness gracious, selfies at a ATM ? That's so unsafe.
It was within that moment that I realised I was now... Old as Fuck.
Those girls were probably 19. The age we were....8 years ago...just looking at them felt illegal.
I don't know about you but I remember those uncles who would come over on Friday nights. Talking about the good old days while making a rawkus and drinking brandy with their fat boeps hanging over their shorts.
I look at my Facebook feed and all I see is a whole new generation of uncles. Those Peter Pans who never quite got enough Likes on that bottle of brandy. Calling themselves by nicknames and referring to the "squad" in a series of misguided hashtags. What exactly are we celebrating every weekend?
Loading up with bottles of booze to clubs was normal 7 years ago, we'd be there with three cars of people, because going out with less than 20 people was unheard of.
It's understandable lads.
The friend who was sleeping under a washing line is now married.
The girl who slept around is now Saved
The exes are married/divorced (I'm sure we could have warned them)
The stoners are employed
and the employed are now stoners
Perhaps you should have taken that chicks number? Or maybe torturing our bodies was not the best of ideas. But oh man, there are stories. Stories I should write one day.
Alas, those women we admired are now just as old as us. Remember that wild lil Tinkerbell who flashed her tits to the crowd for tickets to 50 Cent. I heard she's not looking so good anymore, who knew our parents were right when they told us to wear sunscreen. I guess the sun just shines brighter on those trance kids.
We can only now hope for the best, so my fellow late 20 something year olds:
1) Stop sending requests to your Worldventures kak. It's a scam
2) Don't drink at staff functions
3) Those posers are not going to be your baby's daddy. Look after your kid, #instaTit pics are not going to put food on the table
4) Tinkerbells, you're newly single, doesn't mean every guy wants you. No need to post "I don't need a man,I'm a independent snowflake quotes" every 10 minutes
5) Peter Pans, she's newly single...message her
6) Start a savings/investment account
7) Stop smoking...cheap cigarettes
8) Wear sunscreen.
@Capebandit
