M.I.B >>> Men In Beads...What women really want !

I'm in some sort of prison cell.....I can’t recall how I got here, I hear waves crashing and the strong taste of chloroform still fills my mouth. The scratches and bruises are evidence of days of torture, I'm writing this message because I am in possession of a secret. This secret has been in hiding since the beginning of time, and those with its knowledge have been able to unlock the deepest desires of women the world over....I  am tired of hiding it, and I believe that the world is now ready... for the secret of

………………THE BEADS ! ! ! 

This item of clothing has said to be forged by the Gods and cast out of the heavens due to its immense power. You might see it every day; some even wear it and are oblivious to its influence on women. There comes a time in everyman’s life when he finds himself in the presence of an Angel Goddess….You’re eyes meet… time seems to stand still….the stars seem to be aligned and all would be perfect if only the right words would come to mind…your mind begins to wonder and millions of cheesy pick up lines go through your head…you’re hand starts to shake and just then…you’ve realized that time has not stopped, and you’ve been staring at her for the past 5 minutes without saying a word…whatever swagger you came in with, has been swept away…and the only thing you’ll be getting from the Angel Goddess is a restraining order.

Now gentlemen, the only way to attract an Angel Goddess is to present her with the very item which not even the mighty Zeus could handle. However your efforts will prove fruitless if you do not know how to harness its power. I will now share with you the secrets to unlocking the secret of….The Beads.

Step 1: The J-Sparrow

The J-Sparrow was made famous by the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow. The Jack is a style of dressing which harnesses the full power of The Beads. Without incubating The Beads within an aura of pirate coolness you’ll have nothing but a decorative object hanging from your neck. The pirate dress code has evolved over the years, and in 2011 it can be characterized by a V-neck tshirt, skinny jeans and a pair of ankle high boots.

Step 2: The Open

The secret to approaching an Angel Goddess in a club is the 3 second rule.  Once you spot her, you will have only 3 seconds to speak to her to make any kind of worthy impression. This also prevents the wearer from any kind of approach anxiety. Not to mention that The Beads power of attraction diminishes if you do not harness its influence within the designated time frame. 

Forget cheesy pickup lines…What I’m about to tell you should be the ONLY words which should come out of your mouth!

They are 17 words, 17 words which could change your life forever….All you have to say is…….

“Hi there, I need a women’s perspective on something. Do you think these beads are too much?”

Now, if you are reading this. I am sure you are of sound mind and mental capacity. So I am sure that you should be aware that ladies enjoy sharing their opinions, especially if it has anything to do with fashion. You are now providing the Angel Goddess with the platform for her to delve into her inner most desires to judge someone on the basis of their exterior appearance. 

There are many answers to this question, the top answers given by women can be found below:

• “Wow, they kind of look like Anal Beads.” (well, I’m sure you can figure out where this conversation can lead to)
• “Yeah, I really like your style. Somehow reminds me of that guy from Pirates of the Caribbean.”
• “I can’t really see it in this club light, I have this awesome bed lamp which could allow me to see it better”

The Beads allows for an easy transition into some meaningful conversation with the Angel Goddess. It is a fun and easy way to beat the jitters and approach and meet new people in a fun and unique way. 99.99% of the women you approach will laugh, and Marilyn Monroe said it best by saying that if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

…..I can hear the guards outside of my cell, and I have attached my blackberry to a pigeon’s leg. I have given the bird strict instructions to fly this info straight to the CapeBandits headquarters.

The information I have shared with you is highly classified and I am sure it will prove vital in the preservation of the human race. With The Beads, you will no longer be a mortal man. Women love Men In Beads so you can now stand on the shoulders of giants and call yourself a Man In Beads or M.I.B!

@CapeBandit