CapeBandits: The Home Wrecker (HW)

Society has come to believe that nothing good lasts forever, and that all good things should come to an end. One sits and wonders how such concepts have now become conventional wisdom. How is it that we have a natural inclination to be skeptical when something seems too good to be true? This way of thinking can be attributed to a person…this person can be either male or female.Irrespective of the gender the intentions remain the same. The objectives of this particular person will now be discussed… This entity or enigma can only be described as……..

………………........................THE HOME WRECKER ! ! ! !

In order to fully comprehend the complexities of The Home Wrecker I would recommend that you abandon all pre-programmed thoughts of morality. For the word morality does not exist in the world of the Home Wrecker. The HW has a rare skills set that allows them to target and infiltrate existing relationships, they steal your candy and make you apologize. CapeBandits sits on an arsenal of WikiLeak type documents that map human behavior. Sigmund Freud caught a glimpse of the documents and spent the rest of his life proving and testing our already proven principles.

Characteristics of the Home Wrecker

Educated

The HW has often sacrificed many hours as a result of excessive studying or work. This perseverance within one area thus spills over to another. He/she is able to critically asses and measure and stealthily manipulate variables in your shaky relationship. Excessive use of arbitrary facts about random subject matter is also used to strike up random yet interesting conversations.

E.g.;

Did you know that if you add up all the numbers on a roulette table it all adds up to 666?

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts

Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day.

Chocolate contains the same chemical, phenyl ethylamine that your brain produces when you fall in love.

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles

Are you impressed?? Off course you are…Do you think it will put a smile on your current boyfriend/girlfriends face?? Off course it would.

Charming

The HW knows how to use just the right amount of arrogance and witty humor. The years of conniving provides the HW with the skills to keep you engrossed in a conversation whilst flirting with you GF/BF.

Resourceful

Yes the HW is a person with resources….The HW will have these resources on tap and will be willing and able to use it as he/she wishes… Resources such as; stripper poles which magically appear when the Xbox is on pause.

Fun and high energy

HW’s know the flaws of comfort and predictability which is usually associated with long term relationships. They aim to stay unpredictable yet stable; they bring about a sense of mystery and wonderment which seems to engross all those in their path.

The HW’s passion for wrecking happy homes often stems from their lack of intimate relationships at younger ages. Excitement is achieved in the process rather than the outcome. The process which HW’s commonly use will now be analysed for your reading pleasure.

Techniques used by the HW

Indirect open

Hw’s would never approach a target directly, this cunning technique allows the HW to draw its target in without appearing to be the one initiating contact.

Identifies cracks

The HW is a keen psychological and behavioral profiler and he/she is able to very quickly assess whether there are any flaws within your current relationship. These flaws will be the target of the HW’s attention…

Works cracks

Ms/Mr X has an insecure BF/GF

The HW will then proceed to do things to exacerbate the BF/GF’s insecurity. This will be carried out in a nonchalant manner.

Creates comfort

By creating a level of comfort the HW will be able to escalate his/her’s intentions at a faster pace. Note: The HW will never speak to the target about his/her current BF. This is done to avoid any negative emotions being attached to the new welcoming experience the HW is in the process of creating.

Builds trust

Once trust is established, the HW will then begin to portray normal “I want to be your friend” techniques. This is done to sway the target into thinking that the HW has never had any ulterior motives to begin with.

Gambit

Once the target begins to believe that they have just made a new awesome friend. The HW then delivers a GAMBIT! This is a technique whereby the HW will inform the Target about a dream which he/she has had, that involved them doing intimate things.

The GAMBIT is a powerful tool for two reasons, firstly it provides a foundation on which the HW can now take things to the next level and establish whether there is indeed interest on the Targets part and secondly, it allows the HW to escape the situation entirely by saying “IT WAS JUST A DREAM” and it didn’t mean anything.

Take away

If the HW gets the green light from the Target in the Gambit stage, the HW will then take power over the situation and will proceed to not communicate with the target for a number of days. The HW will stop communication entirely to entice the Target to now make a move on the HW!

I’m sure you can guess what happens in this stage…..HOME WRECK COMPLETED!

Top 5 HW’s

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