Facebook has taken the world by storm and its uncanny ability to unleash ones inner stalker has brought the world that much closer. I even have a friend (Chad (not real name(or is it ?))) who goes to a party and is able to put a name to every scantly clad young lady within oogling distance....Magic powers? No...Prior to going out, he just scans through the events list of attendees on Facebook. I would hear phrases such as " Wow, she actually looks so much hotter in person, but could be due to the Club Light Effect"...I would then turn to him and say...Good call !
Club light Girls are ladies who increase by at least 4 hotness levels whilst under the cover of luminescent flashes, laser beams or smoke machines. For the ladies who do not understand how guys rate girls on the hotness scale; call up your closest guy friend and ask him what your rating is, then deduct 3 levels from his answer and that's your number doll.
Any photographer knows that lighting plays a key role in capturing that perfect image. Our eyes are like little cameras, they detect light, and convert it to electro-chemical impulses in neurons. Light enters the eye through the pupil, and the iris regulates the amount of light by controlling the size of the pupil. Flashing and flickering light which is common to most clubs inhibit the full performance of human sight as well as other cognitive abilities. Club lights hide imperfections and accentuates favourable traits. The fact of the matter is that Club Light Girls are very aware of this principle. It is also fact that a man by the name of Thomas Edison invented the light bulb to impair vision with the hope of beautifying Grenades in the 1870's.
Day Light
Club Light
Characteristics of the CLG
* They are always seen roaming near bottom of the DJ booth, this is commonly the area of the club in which the club light is focused, thus enhancing their Club Light Effect (CLE).
* CLG's wear lots of make up and are known to be the ones who offer to buy random guys drinks.
* CLG's have many hot friends, so when they speak to you. They will ensure that they speak to you from behind the hot friend. This is called the HFSS or Hot Friend Shadow Snatch.
* CLG's have very hot voices, like a combination of Scarlett Johanssons" huskyness paired with Liz Hurley's sultry tone. So if you hear that they work in a call-centre, chances are..you might have yourself a CLG my friend.
* If you get a chicks number during a night out, and she does not want to meet with you after you suggest a picnic on the beach..however if she says..."I'm busy, but we can have a the picnic just before sunset"....You know what I'm going to say....CLG !
Now fellers there is a flip-side to this coin, I have illustrated the CLE, you should also be aware of the RCLE...The Reverse Club Light Effect....This is a very rare phenomenon in which Club Light actually hinders the beauty of the angel goddess..these ladies are called RCLG's ( Reverse Club Light Goddesses)...This could either be a cruel trick of the universe which teaches guys to look past superficial beauty and embrace the inner majestic and wonderment which exists within all females...OOOOOOOOR.........It could teach us to use our cunning and savvy to create ways to filter out the CLG's from the RCLG's!
I give you the SHUTTER SHADES by Kanye West!...I'm sure I don't have to point out what it shuts out!
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| Kanye West CLG Shutter Shades |
You are now armed to go out and face the world!
Yours truly,
@CapeBandit
shit that chick's slamming, i wouldnt mind showing her a few magic tricks.....(when the light comes on)......omp that thing is a GRRAKK, i wouldnt let her water my garden!
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