Cape Town's dirty secret

I’m sure you have all seen this blady thing at some time or another driving to work or varsity or just anywhere around the M3. Some of you might even recognize it and not realize where you’ve seen it and for a while now I have been just like you,sitting there wondering what the hell it is!? Maybe it was just me but this had been bothering me for a while and coupled with my bad week in the gym only benching 3reps of 175kg’s, I couldn’t take it any longer, so I decided to do some investigating and get my mind off things. You would not believe what I found out.

I saw the first set of “eyes“ on the bridge just as you’re going down the m3 towards town 3km’s past the chart farm, so rationally I decided to start there and find out just how many of these “eyes” there were. The very minute I started looking they began to appear everywhere. At first it seemed as though they were randomly placed but what I soon discovered was that each eye was “looking” at the direction of the next one leading me along some sort of yellow brick road. With the thought of an Indiana Jones sequel rushing through my mind I began my adventure, motivated enough to buy a cowboy hat from those street merchants (for getting into character purposes) but unfortunately they only had funny money and the big issue in stock. Alas I ventured on into the unknown not knowing what to expect, every few minutes of the journey revealing another set of “eyes”.

After days without sleep, searching the inner chasms and darkest crevices of the streets, I managed to find a total 39 sets of “eyes”. I decided to then take all the spots where the “eyes” were and plot them on a map. (Below you can see the spots marked with the black dots)

After this though I was stumped. It appeared as if reality would once again suck the joy out of my hopeful quest, with no more leads and running out of ideas I didn’t know what to do next. All these months of toil and hard work for nothing?  Just as I was giving up on it all the picture of the map fell at an angle on the floor of my laboratory. And there it was staring me right in the face for so long, all I had to do was Horatio Caine a line between the dots and I would’ve seen it! The dots all aligned to form the word….

Yes that’s right….SANDERS!

Once I saw the word it made perfect sense to me where I had seen those eyes before. Every day on my adventure to uncover the secrets behind the “eyes” I would crave the original recipe of mixed herbs and spices succumbing to the desire of those succulent fried pieces of Kentucky’s finest.I had lost. Defeated by the man himself, all I had left was an empty wallet and memories. He had won this one. But I still couldn’t quite figure out just how he did it exactly. There is just no understanding it and that’s probably the secret behind the recipe itself. Possibly one of the greatest sub-consciously-mind-screwing-life altering-propaganda-like ploys to date that I have ever come across. He runs this town whether we like it or not and these eyes, they serve testament to his sheer power and magnitude.

All I can leave you with is this warning. Whenever you see these eyes, no matter if you stare at them or not you cannot fight it. There is no point. Just like me you will lose, you will crumble and you will fall, hard!

You cannot run, you cannot hide, because….. 

COLONEL SANDERS WILL GET YOU!

Regards

The Athlete/Model

@CapeBandit