Lawmakers in Malawi are now debating the outlawing of farting in public places...Finally a government willing to take steps in the further advancement of the human race. Imagine a world where people were free to crack a fat one wherever they pleased, complete chaos would surely follow.
Everyone knows that Beans make you fart...and beans are grown with the aid of fertilizer... So to outlaw Farting. Malawi would need to engage in extensive government programs to prevent Malawians from passing wind...
The CapeBandits team of scientists with very official name tags and clipboards have now uncovered the truth....If Malawi passes the the ban, the Malawi's economy will be crippled...here's why!
Malawi statesmen have supported their arguments by saying that "Any person who voluntarily vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way, shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."
This seems strange coming from a country who's entire system of agriculture has benefited from fertilizer subsidies since 2006 !
In fact the very fertilizer subsidies which have been allocated to the Malawi agriculture sector have thus contributed to the success of more than one-third of the countries GDP and 90% of its export revenues.
Just in case the people of Malawi are uninformed as to where exactly fertilizer comes from, we at CapeBandits would be more than willing to oblige them. Without getting too technical... its Poo mixed with lots of chemicals.
It seems a tad hypercritical for a country who receives so much benefits from fertilizer to outlaw farting...
The economy depends on substantial inflows of economic assistance from the IMF, the World Bank, and individual donor nations.
In order to ban farting, the government would need to take active steps in curbing the influences which increase farting, one factor could be to decrease Malawians consumption of beans...With 53% of Malawians living below the poverty line and agriculture accounting for more than 33.4% of Malawi's GDP, it would thus impossible to decrease the already undernourished diets of the people of Malawi.
Malawi's entire economy is receiving substantial benefits from the end result of a Fart...ie.... fertilizer (Poo).
Ban of Farting = Decrease in Fertilizer = End of Bean farming = Malnutition and unemployment = callapse of Mallawian economy....
Glad to be of service!
The Philosopher
brilliant. true intellect i tell you!
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