M.I.B >>> Men In Beads...What women really want !

I'm in some sort of prison cell.....I can’t recall how I got here, I hear waves crashing and the strong taste of chloroform still fills my mouth. The scratches and bruises are evidence of days of torture, I'm writing this message because I am in possession of a secret. This secret has been in hiding since the beginning of time, and those with its knowledge have been able to unlock the deepest desires of women the world over....I  am tired of hiding it, and I believe that the world is now ready... for the secret of

………………THE BEADS ! ! ! 

This item of clothing has said to be forged by the Gods and cast out of the heavens due to its immense power. You might see it every day; some even wear it and are oblivious to its influence on women. There comes a time in everyman’s life when he finds himself in the presence of an Angel Goddess….You’re eyes meet… time seems to stand still….the stars seem to be aligned and all would be perfect if only the right words would come to mind…your mind begins to wonder and millions of cheesy pick up lines go through your head…you’re hand starts to shake and just then…you’ve realized that time has not stopped, and you’ve been staring at her for the past 5 minutes without saying a word…whatever swagger you came in with, has been swept away…and the only thing you’ll be getting from the Angel Goddess is a restraining order.

Now gentlemen, the only way to attract an Angel Goddess is to present her with the very item which not even the mighty Zeus could handle. However your efforts will prove fruitless if you do not know how to harness its power. I will now share with you the secrets to unlocking the secret of….The Beads.

Step 1: The J-Sparrow

The J-Sparrow was made famous by the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow. The Jack is a style of dressing which harnesses the full power of The Beads. Without incubating The Beads within an aura of pirate coolness you’ll have nothing but a decorative object hanging from your neck. The pirate dress code has evolved over the years, and in 2011 it can be characterized by a V-neck tshirt, skinny jeans and a pair of ankle high boots.

Step 2: The Open

The secret to approaching an Angel Goddess in a club is the 3 second rule.  Once you spot her, you will have only 3 seconds to speak to her to make any kind of worthy impression. This also prevents the wearer from any kind of approach anxiety. Not to mention that The Beads power of attraction diminishes if you do not harness its influence within the designated time frame. 

Forget cheesy pickup lines…What I’m about to tell you should be the ONLY words which should come out of your mouth!

They are 17 words, 17 words which could change your life forever….All you have to say is…….

“Hi there, I need a women’s perspective on something. Do you think these beads are too much?”

Now, if you are reading this. I am sure you are of sound mind and mental capacity. So I am sure that you should be aware that ladies enjoy sharing their opinions, especially if it has anything to do with fashion. You are now providing the Angel Goddess with the platform for her to delve into her inner most desires to judge someone on the basis of their exterior appearance. 

There are many answers to this question, the top answers given by women can be found below:

• “Wow, they kind of look like Anal Beads.” (well, I’m sure you can figure out where this conversation can lead to)
• “Yeah, I really like your style. Somehow reminds me of that guy from Pirates of the Caribbean.”
• “I can’t really see it in this club light, I have this awesome bed lamp which could allow me to see it better”

The Beads allows for an easy transition into some meaningful conversation with the Angel Goddess. It is a fun and easy way to beat the jitters and approach and meet new people in a fun and unique way. 99.99% of the women you approach will laugh, and Marilyn Monroe said it best by saying that if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

…..I can hear the guards outside of my cell, and I have attached my blackberry to a pigeon’s leg. I have given the bird strict instructions to fly this info straight to the CapeBandits headquarters.

The information I have shared with you is highly classified and I am sure it will prove vital in the preservation of the human race. With The Beads, you will no longer be a mortal man. Women love Men In Beads so you can now stand on the shoulders of giants and call yourself a Man In Beads or M.I.B!

@CapeBandit

Boobs..... Part 2 of 3

Why boobs have such an effect on us

After revealing one of the greatest stories of man kinds history last week on CapeBandits (please see Boobs part 1),we felt it only right that we gave you a week for everything to sink in and allow you to somehow make sense of the lives you once lived prior to the knowledge you acquired. But unfortunately your world as you knew it will once again be twisted beyond the fabrics of your belief as we unravel the second part of this Boob trilogy.

I’m sure after last week you might have been left with many questions? For me my biggest issue was why!? Why do they have such an effect on us! How can something so simple have so much power over mankind!  Sure, they are exquisite in shape and yes, sometimes looking at them makes all the troubles in our lives seem to disappear and yes, I am also aware that their texture is much like that of winning lottery tickets. But there had to be more to it than that! There has to be a reason why they are capable of driving us men to our deaths. And there is. What I need you to do now is just forget about boobs for a second and pay very careful attention.

Ok here we go. If you were to meet a man in a beautiful suit and he drove a bugatti veyron, he had his own skyscraper with his name on it and he ate lobster and salmon for supper.  This man you would say is pretty successful. You’d probably also think that he was amazing and great and you would not mind being just like him. Look how beautiful he looks below.

However thinking all these things would be foolish! Because this man with his beautiful suit, bugatti veyron, skyscraper building and lobster dinner is not as amazing as…..this guy!

Yes this guy. He has two bugatti veyrons, two skyscrapers and eats two lobsters for dinner.  In every facet and aspect of life he is better than the guy you wanted to be a few seconds ago.

So what does this have to do with boobs you may ask? Well it’s simple. It’s the reason we are so obsessed, the reason our minds are wired to destruction, the reason that all throughout history men have continually changed the workings of the earth. This reason is that boobs come in two’s. In every aspect and facet of life two boobs are better than one. Two boobs remind us of success, happiness, accomplishment and joy. They remind us of 2-for-1 burger specials, or 2-for-1 happy hour drinks. They remind us of the man we want to become with two buggatti veyrons, two skyscrapers and two million dollars. All this for the price of one. One women, two boobs. We love boobs so much because they represent everything man strives for in life. They represent a good life. A life well lived full of luxury, money, power, happiness, wealth and success. Boobs throughout the ages have represented this.

Subconsciously when we see them we think of all the amazing things in life that we can aspire to. It’s these aspirations and dreams that are invoked when we think of them and it fuels the deepest and sometimes darkest powers we possess in order to achieve our desires. They are the quintessential mark of what we strive for and they remain as the driving force behind the evolution of man and his successes. It is for every reason mentioned that we as mere mortals must give into the power as we now know and understand why they have such an effect on us and look forward as we seek to conquer them.

Join us next week for the final edition in this epic boob trilogy as we give you an insight into the progression of this very world we live in as we discover how boobs will pave the way to a new way of thinking and ultimately a new way of life in “The future of boobs”.

The Athlete/Model