Meet Bandit....Cape Town's very own Pick- up Artist

Hey there...

We have probably met before, if you're a guy Iv probably listened to your boring rendition of the way in which you have met your current girlfriend as you proceeded to point her out in the club. I might have looked intrigued however truth be told I approached your group of friends  because you were the only guy amongst a group of three stunning ladies. I entertain your conversation for two more minutes as I proceed to make eye contact with your girlfriends best friend. 

I probably then leaned over to whisper in her ear that I adore her outfit, I would then go on to tell her that although it did look trendy, I couldn't figure out why her shoe's didn't match with any other item of clothing. With that being said, she would've seen a devilish grin on my face.I would then hint that I now see what her shoes match...Just before she asks me what it matched my attention would've been drawn to the Motherhen of the group as I would comment on how they failed to inform their friend on the appropriate ways to dress in a club such as.........(Yeah, I wont be telling you where I party just yet)....... I would have probably suggested that I couldn't stay long, and that the drinks special will be coming to a close. By that time dude, you would have left me alone with your girlfriends friends after I had informed you that you can get two free drinks at a particular bar lady if you mention my name... 

Role playing would then ensue as I would relate each girl to a character in Gossip Girl..laughing and giggling would follow as they would prove to me why they are or aren't certain characters. I would then turn to the girl friends best friend as say..."Noways you could be a Serena, because Serena would have her shoes match some other item of clothing or accessory"..She would have frowned and then I would grab her hand as I inform the rest of her friends about how I need to steal her for a quick moment to give her some fashion tips. She follows me through the crowed as I hold her hand behind me as I then smile and greet every other gorgeous girl that passes me by. I would inform her that the reason I had to pull her aside was that I needed to test an ancient Tibetan myth which stated that most women would match their shoes with their underwear. By this time she has already shown an array of indicators of interest, to which I would exacerbate by saying that she seems like a 4....a 4 out of 10 on the scale of kissing...puppy dog eyes and head tilts would be initiated as she moves in for the kiss. 

By this time good old me would stop and say "hey, im not going to kiss you, we've just met and you're cool and everything however we should totally be friends"..She would then turn back with utter shock as I would then spin her around and whisper how her uncoordinated fashion sense has changed my mind. Make-out session would follow and then BB pins would be exchanged and the Bandit would then go return to the group whilst introducing her friends to other groups of girls who he had previously approached. 

The club becomes that much smaller as almost every little clique of friends are being introduced to one another and every desirable women would leave wondering who that man was who just seemed to know everyone. If you are one of those ladies, through these words we meet again.

Although from the outset every word would seem to be very random and spontaneous however that would never be the case. I have become a machine, calculating and analysing every word to ensure that tension and attraction can be enhanced through my cocky humour and confidence. Both men and women have been misled by those who say things such as

* "Dont worry, the right girl/guy will come around one day"

* " There was nothing you could do, I guess everything happens for a reason"

* " I like you, but only as a friend"

* " All girls/guys are the same"

* " Girls who approach guys are sluts"

* " Guys who approach girls are players"

* " Noways a girl/guy like that would want to be with you"

* "You either have it or you dont"

* "Guys only like tall slim slutty girls"

*"Girls only go for badboys"

* " Nice guys never get anywhere"

This is not just about seducing people in clubs, these are life skills.The world of social dynamics and interactions is a science and a art. Social freedom awaits any man or women who devotes time to understand that you can be with absolutely ANYONE you desire. As with any field of study, there is a formula which has been created and recorded for all to use. This formula has been tried and tested thousands of times. You see it everyday and everybody posseses the potential to unlock it within themselves. 

Some of the Skills which will be explored:

* Body language

* The Approach, effective one liners or openers that work on real women in and around Cape Town

* Approaching women in groups

* Building interest

* Cocky funny routines and methods on building Attraction

So join me on my journey as I will be navigating through theCape Towns club scene. Detailed accounts of each interaction will be recorded and I will also be addressing and presenting the various techniques which you too will be able to apply.

Any questions which you may have can be directed to capebandits@gmail.com

@CapeBandit

Text your way into her...Heart/Mind/Bed

 

- This is based on real events and for the sake of privacy the names of characters have been altered...well..not really-

Chad: "Hey, you see that Angel Goddess over there?"

Friend: "ummm yes, what about her?"

Chad: "We totally hooked up, and she even gave me her BB pin"

Friend: "Whats her name, I'll check her out on Facebook"....."mmm, she has a decent Profile Pic, she has 280 friends and I'm sure shes a quality chick cause those women with over 2000 Facebook friends are always trouble"

Chad: "Awesome, I cant wait to text her, I think im going to marry her"

THE NEXT DAY....

Chad stairs at his BB and decides to text the Angel Goddess he met the night before....

Chad: "hey, im Chad, remember me? lol :P We hooked up last night and I had a great time and I'd really like to see you again because I think that you are so beautiful and I've never met anyone like you before. I would love to take you out to this fancy restaurant and we could hold hands all the way there. Are you free tomorrow????

6 HOURS LATER....

Angel Goddess: "Hey, I'd really love to go, I unfortunately have other plans."

...............AAAAAAAAAAAAAND END SCENE !

Now ladies and gentlemen we at CapeBandit Enterprises have influenced many great triumphs of human ingenuity and innovation. It saddens us that the human population shall be facing complete and utter devastation.Our genes are being un-apologetically whipped off the face of the earth as a result of weak Text Game.

We have now taken it upon ourselves to provide you with a definitive guide to texting...a mere mortal might stop there...oh no..we shall go further, lets be honest... trivial chit chat and pleasantries does not build attraction. So one might then question whether it was humanly possible to create that 'chemistry' that will leave her flustered every time she see's your name pop up on her cell phone screen. 

Before we go any further we must warn you that CapeBandits does not take responsibility for the endless amount of phone calls, texts, emails, Facebook wall posts that you will be receiving after you have applied the information that we will now share with you.....

Continue reading at your own risk.........

OK the key to successful Text Game is divided into three core characteristics, namely that of timing, content and prizability.

Timing:

Timing refers to the amount of time which should pass before you send off your first text message. Now gentlemen this area is often misunderstood. An amateur would tell you to wait 2 days, now this strategy would work well if your aim was to get last minute date cancellations. Now a CapeBandit would send that first text within 5 minutes....Is that a shocked face I see ??..I never said that everything you've ever know up to this point wouldn't be made irrelevant...Imagine the scene..

CapeBandit:  Inserts number into his phone...then walks away for 2min...returns and says "sorry. I just need to text this cute chick who I met, she seems interesting but I'm scared she might be a stalker"

Angel Goddess: "umm..sure"

Whilst in her company the CapeBandit would then whip out his phone and send a text to the Angel Goddess right next to him. It would read " Who is that awesome guy standing next to you?"

This technique would genuinely be met with laughter, its unique and it breaks the ice for you to text again. 

Another element of timing is that of response speed... the rule of thumb is to be BUSY..or at least appear busy.This places more value on your responses because ladies tend to loose interest in someone who is always readily available.

Content:

The ultimate purpose of texting is to flirt,create a little connection , and get the women thinking about you. So do not try to engage in long drawn out logical conversations. One only needs to analyse the methods applied by a CapeBandit.

A CapeBandit:

* Does not come across as "Nice"

* Does not seek approval

* Does not ask questions, he prefers to lead conversations...nobody enjoys interviews

* Does not extend invitations

When it comes to content, there is only one real rule...DO NOT BE BORING ! ! ! !

Boredom can easily be one of the greatest human fears, why you might ask? Boredom has no feeling in it. Women thrive on emotions and feelings so try to add some variety that is not generic or predictable. Lets illustrate this below...

Scenario 1

Angel Goddess: "Hey, what did you do last night?"

Newbie : "Went to the movies, and you?"

Angel Goddess: "Not much, chilled at home"

Newbie: "Cool"

Angel Goddess: "Yeah..."

Scenario 2

Angel Goddess: "Hey, what did you do last night?"

CapeBandit: " Hey, I saw a movie and it got me thinking about you"

Angel Goddess: "Ooh Really ?? :)"

CapeBandit: " There was this adorable little puppy, that whined like you :)"

Now it does not take a genius to figure out which scenario invites the female on a unpredictable emotional rollercoster.

Top 4 Text Conversation starters:

1. "When we were thumb wrestling you weren't wearing a glove. Now im pregnant. We need to talk :)"
2. "Think I just found some batgirl underwear for you"
3. "I think I just saw your twin right now..Are you stalking me?"
4.    CapeBandit: "Stop! "
       AG: "Stop what?"
       CapeBandit: "Stop smiling and thinking about me. See, you're doing it. . right. . . now. "
       AG: "Oh, you caught me!" 

5. "Yeah..You're fun...so far"

Prizability:

Even though you have been provided with all this information, your text game will still be lacking if you lack prizability. Women enjoy challenges and once you appear too easily attainable, you will be fighting a lost cause my friend. An analogy could be made to that of a cat, dangle a ball of string in front of a kitten and it will do almost anything to get it, however once you drop the string, the cat will sniff it and loose interest very quickly. Everybody loves to win trophies, however nobody really cares if it was won in a one man competition. Show that you are confident enough to express your interest and if its not reciprocated, you are more than willing to end that conversation and move on to greener pastures.

So follow these steps and a new world of possibility awaits you...If you have any questions gentlemen..do not contact me...if it is an emergency..just walk up to any beautiful women and ask for me by name...

@CapeBandit

M.I.B >>> Men In Beads...What women really want !

I'm in some sort of prison cell.....I can’t recall how I got here, I hear waves crashing and the strong taste of chloroform still fills my mouth. The scratches and bruises are evidence of days of torture, I'm writing this message because I am in possession of a secret. This secret has been in hiding since the beginning of time, and those with its knowledge have been able to unlock the deepest desires of women the world over....I  am tired of hiding it, and I believe that the world is now ready... for the secret of

………………THE BEADS ! ! ! 

This item of clothing has said to be forged by the Gods and cast out of the heavens due to its immense power. You might see it every day; some even wear it and are oblivious to its influence on women. There comes a time in everyman’s life when he finds himself in the presence of an Angel Goddess….You’re eyes meet… time seems to stand still….the stars seem to be aligned and all would be perfect if only the right words would come to mind…your mind begins to wonder and millions of cheesy pick up lines go through your head…you’re hand starts to shake and just then…you’ve realized that time has not stopped, and you’ve been staring at her for the past 5 minutes without saying a word…whatever swagger you came in with, has been swept away…and the only thing you’ll be getting from the Angel Goddess is a restraining order.

Now gentlemen, the only way to attract an Angel Goddess is to present her with the very item which not even the mighty Zeus could handle. However your efforts will prove fruitless if you do not know how to harness its power. I will now share with you the secrets to unlocking the secret of….The Beads.

Step 1: The J-Sparrow

The J-Sparrow was made famous by the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow. The Jack is a style of dressing which harnesses the full power of The Beads. Without incubating The Beads within an aura of pirate coolness you’ll have nothing but a decorative object hanging from your neck. The pirate dress code has evolved over the years, and in 2011 it can be characterized by a V-neck tshirt, skinny jeans and a pair of ankle high boots.

Step 2: The Open

The secret to approaching an Angel Goddess in a club is the 3 second rule.  Once you spot her, you will have only 3 seconds to speak to her to make any kind of worthy impression. This also prevents the wearer from any kind of approach anxiety. Not to mention that The Beads power of attraction diminishes if you do not harness its influence within the designated time frame. 

Forget cheesy pickup lines…What I’m about to tell you should be the ONLY words which should come out of your mouth!

They are 17 words, 17 words which could change your life forever….All you have to say is…….

“Hi there, I need a women’s perspective on something. Do you think these beads are too much?”

Now, if you are reading this. I am sure you are of sound mind and mental capacity. So I am sure that you should be aware that ladies enjoy sharing their opinions, especially if it has anything to do with fashion. You are now providing the Angel Goddess with the platform for her to delve into her inner most desires to judge someone on the basis of their exterior appearance. 

There are many answers to this question, the top answers given by women can be found below:

• “Wow, they kind of look like Anal Beads.” (well, I’m sure you can figure out where this conversation can lead to)
• “Yeah, I really like your style. Somehow reminds me of that guy from Pirates of the Caribbean.”
• “I can’t really see it in this club light, I have this awesome bed lamp which could allow me to see it better”

The Beads allows for an easy transition into some meaningful conversation with the Angel Goddess. It is a fun and easy way to beat the jitters and approach and meet new people in a fun and unique way. 99.99% of the women you approach will laugh, and Marilyn Monroe said it best by saying that if you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

…..I can hear the guards outside of my cell, and I have attached my blackberry to a pigeon’s leg. I have given the bird strict instructions to fly this info straight to the CapeBandits headquarters.

The information I have shared with you is highly classified and I am sure it will prove vital in the preservation of the human race. With The Beads, you will no longer be a mortal man. Women love Men In Beads so you can now stand on the shoulders of giants and call yourself a Man In Beads or M.I.B!

@CapeBandit

Boobs..... Part 2 of 3

Why boobs have such an effect on us

After revealing one of the greatest stories of man kinds history last week on CapeBandits (please see Boobs part 1),we felt it only right that we gave you a week for everything to sink in and allow you to somehow make sense of the lives you once lived prior to the knowledge you acquired. But unfortunately your world as you knew it will once again be twisted beyond the fabrics of your belief as we unravel the second part of this Boob trilogy.

I’m sure after last week you might have been left with many questions? For me my biggest issue was why!? Why do they have such an effect on us! How can something so simple have so much power over mankind!  Sure, they are exquisite in shape and yes, sometimes looking at them makes all the troubles in our lives seem to disappear and yes, I am also aware that their texture is much like that of winning lottery tickets. But there had to be more to it than that! There has to be a reason why they are capable of driving us men to our deaths. And there is. What I need you to do now is just forget about boobs for a second and pay very careful attention.

Ok here we go. If you were to meet a man in a beautiful suit and he drove a bugatti veyron, he had his own skyscraper with his name on it and he ate lobster and salmon for supper.  This man you would say is pretty successful. You’d probably also think that he was amazing and great and you would not mind being just like him. Look how beautiful he looks below.

However thinking all these things would be foolish! Because this man with his beautiful suit, bugatti veyron, skyscraper building and lobster dinner is not as amazing as…..this guy!

Yes this guy. He has two bugatti veyrons, two skyscrapers and eats two lobsters for dinner.  In every facet and aspect of life he is better than the guy you wanted to be a few seconds ago.

So what does this have to do with boobs you may ask? Well it’s simple. It’s the reason we are so obsessed, the reason our minds are wired to destruction, the reason that all throughout history men have continually changed the workings of the earth. This reason is that boobs come in two’s. In every aspect and facet of life two boobs are better than one. Two boobs remind us of success, happiness, accomplishment and joy. They remind us of 2-for-1 burger specials, or 2-for-1 happy hour drinks. They remind us of the man we want to become with two buggatti veyrons, two skyscrapers and two million dollars. All this for the price of one. One women, two boobs. We love boobs so much because they represent everything man strives for in life. They represent a good life. A life well lived full of luxury, money, power, happiness, wealth and success. Boobs throughout the ages have represented this.

Subconsciously when we see them we think of all the amazing things in life that we can aspire to. It’s these aspirations and dreams that are invoked when we think of them and it fuels the deepest and sometimes darkest powers we possess in order to achieve our desires. They are the quintessential mark of what we strive for and they remain as the driving force behind the evolution of man and his successes. It is for every reason mentioned that we as mere mortals must give into the power as we now know and understand why they have such an effect on us and look forward as we seek to conquer them.

Join us next week for the final edition in this epic boob trilogy as we give you an insight into the progression of this very world we live in as we discover how boobs will pave the way to a new way of thinking and ultimately a new way of life in “The future of boobs”.

The Athlete/Model

BOOBS......Part 1 of 3

The History of Boobs

They are some of the most powerful instruments man have come to behold. Men do crazy things for them, irrational things, stupid things. I once heard a story of a man who threw his cell phone into his own beer mug, just at the hope of touching a pair he had laid his eyes on one night (yes beer, and it was a full beer at that). Or even worse a story many of us are now so familiar with today, the old tale of Tybones Gaybatta, a man who gave away all his ability to gain muscle and charm just to grace his eyes upon a pair. We even owe the existence of the continents to them. Men such as Christopher Columbus, Galileo, Jan Van Riebeeck and so many more traveling the seas,  in search of the unknown because they grew tired of the boobs on their land and went out in search of new ones. 

But it seems the power of these mythical enchantments date even further back and the signs are everywhere, some still standing testament to this very day. And one such story eclipses it all as the epitome of the power of boobs. So come with me on this journey as I unravel the splendid mysteries of the greatest story never told… about boobs.

Our story begins 2300 years ago. An almighty man by the name of Azeg had ruled a nation with zest and cunning and towards the later stages of his prolific life he had come to conquer so much land, all the way from the desert to the seas and everything within it, but yet none of this truly made him happy. For ever since his quest for greatness began he always had a gap in his heart, an empty desire he just could not quite understand. But one day he laid his eyes on the most beautiful women he had come to see. Ever. And suddenly that gap he had so long fought to seal, seemed to draw near to its fulfillment. Her name was T’pyge and from that day forward Azeg vowed to do everything in his power to have her. He tried everything. 1000pushups in a row, bench pressing 4camels, buying her the rarest silk linens but all to no avail. It seemed that no amounts of delicious food, gold, jewelry or servants could sway her to bed with him. So Azeg with flames of determination said to himself “Alright fuck this, I know just what to do!” Azeg then said to T’pyge “baby girl im gonna build you a monument to honour your beauty” .

And so it began. Azeg gathered all his slaves and got them working on the greatest, biggest, baddest mofo of a monument that he could think of.  He toiled with architects and designers for months, outsourcing the very best materials of the land and strictly assembling his slaves working them sometimes to death. He was so brutal in his ways that if anyone were to make a fraction of an error they would be killed. T’pyge noticing this will and desire slowly started to grow found of Azeg as the monument began to take shape. T’pyge then said to Azeg, “Azeg when you finish this monument statue I will be all yours to do with as you please!” This only made Azeg hungrier with desire and so he doubled up on the slaves shifts with no after hours pay or any public holidays off. After 25 years it was finally complete, a statue monument so amazing and beautiful it overshadowed the entire city. It could even be seen from the heavens. T’pyge was thrilled when she looked at it and it was more than she could have ever imagined so she just cried, ran over to Azeg and said “I’m all yours!”. Azeg however having worked so hard for so many years on his creation that upon hearing those words his, body which had been struggling along just to reach the end, just fell to the ground and he died.

Nobody knows what happened after that apart from the fact that in memory of Azeg, T’pyge took both their names and wrote it backwards giving her name to the country which Azeg once owned and Azegs name s given to the monument he built for her. Azegs Monument still stands to this day paying reference to the depths a man will go to capture the beauty and power of boobs. 

Below I give you pictures of Tpyge and the Azeg Monument.

(Or as you now may have figured out Egypt and the Geza pyramids) 

It’s pretty clear to see what the monument was of but I managed to locate a more illustrative drawing by Deacon for those of you who still cannot see.

You may be sitting there thinking WTF. Or maybe just crying from memories of similar pains you may have experienced. All I can say is join us next week as we unravel part two of this boob trilogy as we discover why boobs have such an effect on us. 

The Athlete/Model

The Home Wrecker (HW)

Society has come to believe that nothing good lasts forever, and that all good things should come to an end. One sits and wonders how such concepts have now become conventional wisdom. How is it that we have a natural inclination to be skeptical when something seems too good to be true? This way of thinking can be attributed to a person…this person can be either male or female.Irrespective of the gender the intentions remain the same. The objectives of this particular person will now be discussed… This entity or enigma can only be described as……..

………………........................THE HOME WRECKER ! ! ! !

In order to fully comprehend the complexities of The Home Wrecker I would recommend that you abandon all pre-programmed thoughts of morality. For the word morality does not exist in the world of the Home Wrecker. The HW has a rare skills set that allows them to target and infiltrate existing relationships, they steal your candy and make you apologize. CapeBandits sits on an arsenal of WikiLeak type documents that map human behavior. Sigmund Freud caught a glimpse of the documents and spent the rest of his life proving and testing our already proven principles. 

Characteristics of the Home Wrecker

• Educated

The HW has often sacrificed many hours as a result of excessive studying or work. This perseverance within one area thus spills over to another. He/she is able to critically asses and measure and stealthily manipulate variables in your shaky relationship. Excessive use of arbitrary facts about random subject matter is also used to strike up random yet interesting conversations. 

E.g.;

Did you know that if you add up all the numbers on a roulette table it all adds up to 666?

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts

        Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day.

Chocolate contains the same chemical, phenyl ethylamine that your brain produces when you fall in love.

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles

Are you impressed?? Off course you are…Do you think it will put a smile on your current boyfriend/girlfriends face?? Off course it would.

• Charming

The HW knows how to use just the right amount of arrogance and witty humor. The years of conniving provides the HW with the skills to keep you engrossed in a conversation whilst flirting with you GF/BF.

• Resourceful

Yes the HW is a person with resources….The HW will have these resources on tap and will be willing and able to use it as he/she wishes… Resources such as; stripper poles which magically appear when the Xbox is on pause. 

• Fun and high energy

HW’s know the flaws of comfort and predictability which is usually associated with long term relationships. They aim to stay unpredictable yet stable; they bring about a sense of mystery and wonderment which seems to engross all those in their path.

The HW’s passion for wrecking happy homes often stems from their lack of intimate relationships at younger ages. Excitement is achieved in the process rather than the outcome. The process which HW’s commonly use will now be analysed for your reading pleasure.

Techniques used by the HW

• Indirect open

Hw’s would never approach a target directly, this cunning technique allows the HW to draw its target in without appearing to be the one initiating contact. 

• Identifies cracks

The HW is a keen psychological and behavioral profiler and he/she is able to very quickly assess whether there are any flaws within your current relationship. These flaws will be the target of the HW’s attention…

• Works cracks

Ms/Mr X has an insecure BF/GF

The HW will then proceed to do things to exacerbate the BF/GF’s insecurity. This will be carried out in a nonchalant manner.

• Creates comfort

By creating a level of comfort the HW will be able to escalate his/her’s intentions at a faster pace. Note: The HW will never speak to the target about his/her current BF. This is done to avoid any negative emotions being attached to the new welcoming experience the HW is in the process of creating.

• Builds trust

Once trust is established, the HW will then begin to portray normal “I want to be your friend” techniques. This is done to sway the target into thinking that the HW has never had any ulterior motives to begin with.

• Gambit

Once the target begins to believe that they have just made a new awesome friend. The HW then delivers a GAMBIT! This is a technique whereby the HW will inform the Target about a dream which he/she has had, that involved them doing intimate things.

The GAMBIT is a powerful tool for two reasons, firstly it provides a foundation on which the HW can now take things to the next level and establish whether there is indeed interest on the Targets part and secondly, it allows the HW to escape the situation entirely by saying “IT WAS JUST A DREAM” and it didn’t mean anything. 

• Take away

If the HW gets the green light from the Target in the Gambit stage, the HW will then take power over the situation and will proceed to not communicate with the target for a number of days. The HW will stop communication entirely to entice the Target to now make a move on the HW!

• Close

I’m sure you can guess what happens in this stage…..HOME WRECK COMPLETED!

Top 5 HW’s 


5

"So my agent says we're doing a movie together" Angie

4

"Who wants to be married for 22 years anyways?" Mike

3

"Yes Bruce, keep fishing..I think I might just have a bite on my side as well" Ashton K

2

"Monica...Can I see you in my office for a moment? No, leave your pen at your desk"

1

"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
— Marilyn Monro

@CapeBandit

Barney Stinson VS Chuck Bass

In life, there exist questions which have kept philosophers guessing for many decades. Ancients have looked up to the stars with the objective of finding the answer to the meaning of life. What is the meaning of life? The team at CapeBandits took approximately two seconds to answer this question; the meaning of life is…a life of meaning…Easy! Now there is a second question which has yet to be answered, the question of whether woman prefer Barney ‘the legend’ Stinson over Chuck ‘the pout’ Bass. The Philosopher has taken it upon himself to uncover the truth. The objective was not only to find out who woman prefer, but to also investigate which womanizing tactics could potentially bring about the best real life results.

Barney Stinson is a confident womanizer in his early thirties who almost always wears a suit, likes women with Daddy issues and The Early Show described him as "utterly devoid of morality". He lives by the Bro Code and is known to take on outlandish challenges to win over gorgeous woman. Chuck Bass is a young billionaire with a flamboyant fashion sense and his only interests is that of sex and money. He requires very little effort when it comes to seducing woman, all that needs to be said is….”I’m Chuck Bass”.

In order to put these two womanizing heavy weights up against each other one needs to look into the key characteristics and qualities that woman look for in men. Both gentlemen will be rated in each category and the winner will be able to claim the glory.

  

  Looks

Now it’s quite obvious that almost any guy could pull off a GQ look when wearing a suit worth more than most cars. So we have decided to take a more creative approach to this particular category. 

As you can see Chuck struts the "I need to rub my nose because I just snarfed 3grams of Coke" look. Some ladies prefer this look because A, it says that his loaded and B, that he'll probably enjoy spending most of his time gazing into your eyes whilst he see's you take the shape of a unicorn. 

Barney Stinson no longer see's women as a challenge, not even men are safe from him these days. The fact that he is now almost unattainable makes him even more irresistible to women.

WINNER :Chuck Bass....The coked up look definitely attracts women leaving Tiger Tiger or any other trendy Cafe's in Camps Bay

 Past Conquests

Now we all know that woman judge a man by his previous conquests. This is called social proofing. Social proofing is a concept whereby a lady would justify their level of interest in you based upon  how many other women find you desirable.  Chuck Bass has said to have slept with enough women to overbook a commercial size jumbo jet. Lets judge this lad and see if any of his previous hookups are worthy of any praise.

Blair Woldorf

Little Jenny Humphrey

Dans Humphrey's crush Vennessa Abrahams

 Barney Stinson has slept with over 237 women throughout the series and he has even written a book called The Playbook which you can use should you wish to replicate his triumphant success with the fairer sex.

Lets see how some of Stinson's conquests measure up...

Stinson and Etv's Debra Patta

Spotted BS and Cape Towns Premier Hellen Zille leaving a hotel room together

Rumor has it that after Britney had Stinson..she was never the same

Yes J.Lo we know he is Legen...wait for it...Dary !

 WINNER: Barney Stinson....I'm sure we don't have to debate this one

So now it seems as though we have a tie. Both men are polar opposites to the characters they portray...So in the Battle of Chuck Bass VS Barney Stinson...there can be only ONE WINNER aaaaaaaand the winner is.....................

#Winning

The winner is none other than the Winner of all Winners Mr Charlie 'Tigerblood' Sheen...Cause if there is ever a person who lives the very same life as the character he play it is this man! Barney Stinson ,Chuck Bass and all the women of the world hail at his feet and bask in the fragments of his glory.

Do you have that Tigerblood?

@CapeBandit