Sending Nudes Will Save the World. This is how..

Dear ladies, the plight of the world as you know it now hinges on your ability to send a nudie pic from your device to another without disrupting the entire economy as every warm blooded male, armed with a fully charged phone, now discreetly abandons all worldly responsibility in favour of a quite bathroom stall.

Every relationship is said to reach certain key milestones, aaah the first date, the first inside joke stealthily delivered in the presence of the mutual third wheel, the first late night beach adventure where both of you are stranded as a result of someone (not me) leaving the car lights on. Like, listen now, lets be honest with one another for a moment, as guys we are pretty much biologically programmed to develop a life of self-fulfillment,  love, happiness and boobs. So when the request of whether we would like to receive a picture of our significant other in all kinds of compromising positions finds its way onto our mobile device. The reply "Yes" is sent without much thought being given to the rather unpleasant situation which you will now find yourself in.

The conversation would usually go as follows...

"Hey baby, I have a surprise for you..."

[image downloading.......]

[open/save]

[save]

[open]

"You didn't save the pic hey?"

"Nope...of course not:)"

"Now send me a pic"

"A pic...of what?"

"Of you"

"Ummm....ok....just give me a moment"

[end chat]

[delete contact]

[block contact]

"Did you get it?"

"Hello?"

"Hellooooo?"

There is no politically correct way to say that us guys are pretty much useless when it comes to sending pictures that will ignite the fire in your loins. The female form is pure art, art which transcends all consciousness, and when captured in a photograph, the pure essence of femininity becomes immortalized in the hearts and minds of those lucky bastards who chose to click "Open Image". 

Don't Try, Be

In attempting to conjure up the perfect image, we have lost sight of the what it means to be completely kaalgat. When people first began to roam the earth we basked in the glory of our nakedness. The right angles, lighting or let alone camera filters where the furthest thing from our minds. Focusing on anything other than surviving would wipe us out of the gene pool. We were men, doing what men did, hunting, doing badass caveman shit and waving our prehistoric members around to all those who would come in our way.

The female gender embraced their femeninity and were empowered enough to forgo their loincloths, not for the mere enjoyment of their ill informed male counterparts, but to illustrate that they were powerful and able to take the lead in lighting the way on uncharted maps by shining their...... beacons of glory. 

As time progressed, we became soft, and looked to run down and oppress the female gender as we got lost in the catchy tunes of boy bands and silky smooth linens.

As men, we can either embrace the sometimes painful truth of reality or we can decide to live out our existence under the blissful ignorance of illusion. The current juncture comprises of two key options.

1) Not sending a Nudie back

Should you elect to diss-empower your significant other by denying her of the opportunity of basking in your manly manliness, you will be spitting in the face of all those who have stood before you. The heroes of years gone by who stood naked before pervy sculptors who chizled their micro-penises into marble and time, for all eternity.

2) Sending a Nudie back

Once you have come to terms with the fact that your junk will be sent through cyberspace and splashed all over the screen of the recipient, you can now move onto the next phase of your journey. You will need to develop the very best pose which will illustrate your inner caveman. If done correctly, the representation of your inner caveman will arose millennia of pent up sexual energy in your partner.

In closing I would like to introduce to you...

Cavemanning 

The "I Just Invented Fire" pose

The "This Caves Too Cold To Sleep In Alone" pose

The "Soaring Pterodactyl" pose

The sending of nudies could just well save the world from impending doom. As the influx of women receiving less than desirable images will only lead to a rapid reduction of reproduction rates and global population figures will deteriorate into nothingness. Cavemanning is the only way to counter such calamity.

As for the all the ladies, if you need a second opinion regarding your pics, be sure to send it to....

@CapeBandit